this is me...

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 03:47:22 GMT

blah blah blah. thats all i have to say...

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 23:45:44 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. KIM ANN! BIG 20! I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE AN ABSOLUTLY WONDERFUL DAY!!!!

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 01:19:19 GMT

thank you for making up your mind. im happy again.
in colorado, vacation for me... finally
bye

Sat, 21 May 2005 19:47:58 GMT

what happened to the old you?
the one that used to be so great?
the one that used to be so sweet?
why'd you have to leave?
your so different and now i cant help but hate you most of the time, and i cant help but love you...
so here is what i have to say to you, make up your fucking mind before i make it up for you

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 23:05:19 GMT

seems like my bad days definitly out weigh my good days

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 18:40:23 GMT

so tired of everything... all the pressure... its eating me alive. what if i dropped outta school and quit my job and became a hard core looser drug addict... oh yea, that would make me my mother, and i sure as hell ain't my mother. so oh well. cant complain cuz i wont do anything to change my situation. but that would teach her a lesson if i did... that would put her in her place. but im quiet, and do as im told...

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 00:26:02 GMT

ever wish you could play in the clouds?
i thought today would be a nice day to play in them...

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 23:56:17 GMT

you better not be pulling my leg...please...

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 19:23:59 GMT

i was driving home last night, and i heard a song that reminded me of my dad. it was very strange. i havent heard that song in a long time. when i was little i told my mom that the song reminded me of him and i remembered she cryed. and i suppose i just forgot all about it till last night. and i heard it and it made me cry. it fits to a tee how i feel. when your as young as i was you would think that i wouldnt really understand my feelings but i guess i did. it just suprised me i suppose. maybe it was a sign that i should go visit him. the tony rich project has powerful lyrics to me. or at least that song.
I pretend that I'm glad you went away
These four walls are closin' more every day
and I'm dying inside
and nobody knows it but me
like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
and I'm cryin' inside
and nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can say it so clearly
but you're nowhere around

Chorus
The nights are lonely, and the days are so sad
and I just keep thinkin' 'bout the love that we had
and I'm missin' you
and nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
and I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought
you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
and nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
but like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn
all apart
A million words couldn't say just how
I feel
A million years from now ya know
I'll be lovin' you still

Chorus

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the
dusty roads
gonna find you where ever, ever you
might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope
you come back to me
said when the nights are lonely...

I suppose the song is meant to be about a woman, but i dont think of it like that.

I LOVE YOU DAD!

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 19:03:46 GMT

im happy now...

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 22:30:37 GMT

thank you so much for my yellow rose... it is beautiful... thank you for thinking of me

well happy valentines day to everyone...

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY KRYSTAL... I HOPE YOUR DAY GETS BETTER...

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 21:11:10 GMT

ive been ok... keeping busy...i guess. nothing exciting has happened. my mom is probably going to have to have back sugery again. she has been very demanding of my time. helping with this, getting her that. im glad to help, if only she were nice to me. she is going to colorado for two weeks, so thats great... i dont have to "deal" with her. thats not the right word but its the first word that came to mind. im tried of stuff... i wish things were different. but you gotta play with what cards were given to you i guess. so everyone have a nice day... the sun is peaking out... i cant wait for summer.

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 23:20:42 GMT

catch me as i fall
say you're here and it's all over now
speaking to the atmosphere
no one's here and i fall into myself
this truth drives me into madness
i know i can stop the pain
if i will it all away

don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die

i'm frightened by what i see
but somehow i know
that there's much more to come
immobilized by my fear
and soon to be blinded by tears
i can stop the pain
if i will it all away

don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die

fallen angels at my feet
whispered voices at my ear
death before my eyes
lying next to me i fear
she beckons me shall i give in
upon my end shall i begin
forsaking all i've fallen for
i rise to meet the end

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 18:50:35 GMT

well no zoo last week. the plan tonight is going to Original Joes then to a hookah lounge in San Jose. I hope everything works out.

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 20:45:16 GMT

going to the zoo today... should be exciting...

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:11:28 GMT

i can be overdramtic... only when it comes to guys...

Fri, 17 Dec 2004 02:22:30 GMT

sometimes people read things you dont think they read... like "No Girl Friend"... ouch! thanks. i mean i know we're not but... ouch! it just hurts when you read it. it makes it sink in even harder maybe, i dont know. but yea... whatever. christmas can kiss my ass, new years can kiss my ass... that first kiss on new years and kiss my fuckin ass. blah blah blah and more blah... make up your mind please....

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 21:18:04 GMT

im sad... i hate the holidays... i feel so alone...

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 20:07:37 GMT

Change Usually Happens When The Pain Of Staying Over Comes The Fear Of Leaving...

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 23:12:56 GMT

I could tell from the minute I woke up
It was going to be a lonely lonely
Lonely lonely day.
Rise and shine rub the sleep out of my eyes
And try to tell myself I cant
Go back to bed
Its gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
Even though the sun is shining down on me and I should feel about as happy as can be
I just got here and I already want to leave
Its gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day

Everybody knows that somethings wrong
But nobody knows whats going on
We all sing the same old song
When you want it all to go away
Its shaping up to be a lonely day

I could tell from the minute I woke up it was going to be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.

-Phantom Planet

do you ever feel like that?

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 22:26:41 GMT

hi everyone.... ok bye

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 05:31:58 GMT

ive gone 11 years without him...thats over half of my life. its hurts really bad sometimes...it hurts so bad to the point im just laying in my bed crying because i miss him so much, and it scares me because i dont remember much about him. when i was little i used to tell him i love him so he would say it back so i could remember his voice....i dont remember it anymore.

11 years today i lost my father in a motorcycle accident...
REST IN PEACE MY BELOVED FATHER
i love you with everything in my body and will never forget you.

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 17:18:50 GMT

i loved this weekend.....

:::::::EDIT::::::::

i have a really bad feeling about something and i dont know what it is... it is starting to scare me.

Sun, 22 Aug 2004 23:21:03 GMT

yea hahahaha...i want to leave this town...i want something new... i wont be writing much anymore...i need someone

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 07:23:04 GMT

Sometimes I close my eyes And imagine you're with me
Chasing passion into the night
All tangled in a dream.
Oh if you could see my heart
The way I feel inside
You would know just how far I'm willing to go to get to you
There is nothing I won't do.
Show me what its like to lose control
Free the desire in your soul
Oh oh let me love you.
Let me take you to a place like no where else
Show you the things you never felt Oh oh let me love you.
Oh I want to taste your kiss
Be the reason for your smile
Touch the magic on your skin
Be the one that drives you wild.
Oh if you could read my mind
You'd know you're everything I need
You'd see yourself through my eyes
You may understand what I'm going through
Just how much I want you.
Show me what its like to lose control
Free the desire in your soul
Oh oh let me love you....

toby keith knows what im talking about