this is me...

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

3:44PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. KIM ANN! BIG 20! I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE AN ABSOLUTLY WONDERFUL DAY!!!!

Sunday, June 26, 2005

7:18PM

thank you for making up your mind. im happy again.
in colorado, vacation for me... finally
bye

Saturday, May 21, 2005

12:43PM

what happened to the old you?
the one that used to be so great?
the one that used to be so sweet?
why'd you have to leave?
your so different and now i cant help but hate you most of the time, and i cant help but love you...
so here is what i have to say to you, make up your fucking mind before i make it up for you

Current mood: tired of it all

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

11:55PM

seems like my bad days definitly out weigh my good days

Tuesday, April 5, 2005

11:36AM

so tired of everything... all the pressure... its eating me alive. what if i dropped outta school and quit my job and became a hard core looser drug addict... oh yea, that would make me my mother, and i sure as hell ain't my mother. so oh well. cant complain cuz i wont do anything to change my situation. but that would teach her a lesson if i did... that would put her in her place. but im quiet, and do as im told...

Current mood:

annoyed

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

12:12AM

ever wish you could play in the clouds?
i thought today would be a nice day to play in them...

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

11:43PM

you better not be pulling my leg...please...

Current mood:

curious

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

11:15AM

i was driving home last night, and i heard a song that reminded me of my dad. it was very strange. i havent heard that song in a long time. when i was little i told my mom that the song reminded me of him and i remembered she cryed. and i suppose i just forgot all about it till last night. and i heard it and it made me cry. it fits to a tee how i feel. when your as young as i was you would think that i wouldnt really understand my feelings but i guess i did. it just suprised me i suppose. maybe it was a sign that i should go visit him. the tony rich project has powerful lyrics to me. or at least that song.
I pretend that I'm glad you went away
These four walls are closin' more every day
and I'm dying inside
and nobody knows it but me
like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
and I'm cryin' inside
and nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can say it so clearly
but you're nowhere around

Chorus
The nights are lonely, and the days are so sad
and I just keep thinkin' 'bout the love that we had
and I'm missin' you
and nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
and I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought
you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
and nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
but like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn
all apart
A million words couldn't say just how
I feel
A million years from now ya know
I'll be lovin' you still

Chorus

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the
dusty roads
gonna find you where ever, ever you
might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope
you come back to me
said when the nights are lonely...

I suppose the song is meant to be about a woman, but i dont think of it like that.

I LOVE YOU DAD!

Current mood:

sore

Sunday, March 13, 2005

6:52PM

im happy now...

Current mood:

happy

Monday, February 14, 2005

2:25PM

thank you so much for my yellow rose... it is beautiful... thank you for thinking of me

well happy valentines day to everyone...

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY KRYSTAL... I HOPE YOUR DAY GETS BETTER...

Thursday, February 10, 2005

1:07PM

ive been ok... keeping busy...i guess. nothing exciting has happened. my mom is probably going to have to have back sugery again. she has been very demanding of my time. helping with this, getting her that. im glad to help, if only she were nice to me. she is going to colorado for two weeks, so thats great... i dont have to "deal" with her. thats not the right word but its the first word that came to mind. im tried of stuff... i wish things were different. but you gotta play with what cards were given to you i guess. so everyone have a nice day... the sun is peaking out... i cant wait for summer.

Current mood:

blank

Tuesday, February 1, 2005

3:11PM

catch me as i fall
say you're here and it's all over now
speaking to the atmosphere
no one's here and i fall into myself
this truth drives me into madness
i know i can stop the pain
if i will it all away

don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die

i'm frightened by what i see
but somehow i know
that there's much more to come
immobilized by my fear
and soon to be blinded by tears
i can stop the pain
if i will it all away

don't turn away
don't give in to the pain
don't try to hide
though they're screaming your name
don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind them
don't turn out the light
never sleep never die

fallen angels at my feet
whispered voices at my ear
death before my eyes
lying next to me i fear
she beckons me shall i give in
upon my end shall i begin
forsaking all i've fallen for
i rise to meet the end

Friday, January 28, 2005

10:49AM

well no zoo last week. the plan tonight is going to Original Joes then to a hookah lounge in San Jose. I hope everything works out.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

12:44PM

going to the zoo today... should be exciting...

Monday, December 20, 2004

3:11PM

i can be overdramtic... only when it comes to guys...

Thursday, December 16, 2004

6:15PM

sometimes people read things you dont think they read... like "No Girl Friend"... ouch! thanks. i mean i know we're not but... ouch! it just hurts when you read it. it makes it sink in even harder maybe, i dont know. but yea... whatever. christmas can kiss my ass, new years can kiss my ass... that first kiss on new years and kiss my fuckin ass. blah blah blah and more blah... make up your mind please....

Current mood:

crushed

Monday, December 6, 2004

1:16PM

im sad... i hate the holidays... i feel so alone...

Current mood:

disappointed

Thursday, November 18, 2004

12:05PM

Change Usually Happens When The Pain Of Staying Over Comes The Fear Of Leaving...